10 Months of Raising a Wildflower

My ELEVEN month old sweet girl! A year ago I was excitedly awaiting your arrival, and now I am excitedly counting down the days until your first birthday! We have been in full-on party mode over here, as Daddy and I have already started ordering and building things for your Sesame Street birthday (that is going to be A-MAZING!) I know you won't remember it by the time you're old enough to read this, but I just wanted to make sure that you knew how much it meant to us regardless to ensure that you were celebrated and given our best efforts. We love you, Row. You're our pride and joy, the centre of our universe, and we think the sun shines from your gigantic beautiful eyeballs. Of course we will stop at nothing to be the most involved and loving parents we know how to be. And if that means building Sesame Street lamp-posts, finding the most perfect shade of "Sesame Street green" paint, and going to great lengths to find the cutest customized invitations (true, I tracked down a lady and asked her to make a more feminine one with all of the characters you love on it), and going above and beyond, then consider it our pleasure. It's why we chose to grow a family and have a baby. It's our purpose in life to raise and love great little people, and it's the best part of being a parent to get to watch your child's face light up with happiness and know that we had even the smallest part in that.

God knows you light our lives up daily, from your kisses, or high-fives, waves, tickles, busting out your dance moves, or when you think you're hiding by covering your eyes with your hands. Each day you give us a million moments of pure happiness, and it's the greatest confirmation that having a family was the best thing we ever could have done. All because of you, Rowan Penelope. Our spectacular and bright little girl. I am SO excited for this last month of your first year! It's completely surreal to think that once upon a time ago you were a fresh 6 pound newbie, but knowing you now as I do, and seeing all that you are, I wouldn't go back in time. I just want to soak up every bit of these current times with you.

10 months stats for Lil' R.P.

Birth weight: 6 lbs, 11.5 oz, 19 inches long

10 months: I'm going to go ahead and guess 20-21 lbs (maaaaax), you're tall, but still so teeny tiny! Whenever people see you in person they are quick to comment on how much smaller you are compared to your photos. Or, if we're in public and a stranger asks how old you are, they're usually surprised to learn you're almost a year!

Eye colour: a perfect mix of green & hazel

Diaper size: comfortable in your size 3 diapies

Clothing size: 12, or 12-18 months

Nickname: Nana has been calling you "Nut Nut" lately (and speaking of names, Gramma wants to now go by Nana, so I'm officially making the switch on here as of right......now!)

What Momma has observed

about you at 10 months young

You FINALLY said "Mama" this month, and although it most often comes out when you're crying, it's clear as day! It still isn't said nearly as often as "Dada", but that's okay. You also started to say "that" (dat) and "there" (dere)! The one day at home I kept placing your Cookie Monster stuffy all over the house and would then ask you where he was. I would say "there" and point, and you started doing the same thing!

My new favourite thing you do is when we say "sweet girl", you rest your head on us. Somehow you've associated the action with the words, so now whenever we say it, if you aren't already in our arms, you will approach us and rest your head on our leg or shoulder, or whatever you can. It's the damn cutest thing ever, but then again, you ARE our sweet girl!

Speaking of which, you are quick to give us and your toys plenty of kisses and hugs now! The best are the unprompted ones that we didn't have to ask for. Just last night Daddy was laying on the floor watching TV, and you knelt down to him and gave him a kiss. You also enjoy visiting the pumpkins we currently have sitting out on the front porch (we have to always say hello to them whenever we're outside), and giving them a kiss. Apparently you are incredibly affectionate to both inanimate objects, as well as children you don't even know. The one morning you, Nana and I were at Cora's for breakfast and you walked over to a little girl at the table across from us and gave her a hug. I'd way rather have a child like you rather than one who is insanely shy!

Whenever we play music, not only do you dance, but now you "sing" along by making little mumbling noises (sometimes even really high pitch ones). A song that comes to mind when I think of this is called "Last Shot" by Kip Moore. It plays often on the radio, but one of the first times you heard it you sang along to the whole thing. Since Dada is a fan of Kip Moore, he was more than happy to play some of his other songs for you. I walked in on you and him slow dancing to "Talladega" in the kitchen. Look it up and give it a listen. Then picture a guy who wasn't certain he would ever become a softie, but then had a daughter and absolutely did.

I have a few photos hanging on this board in our kitchen and one of them is of your Dad when he was really little. You're now obsessed with it ever since I started asking "where's baby Dada?" You smile really big and point to it every time. It serves as a great distraction while your bubba is heating up and your patience is growing thin. Not to mention that you look a whole lot like "baby Dada"!

Oh my god, the hiding. You are thee funniest at hiding. You truly believe that as long as you're crouched down, laying flat on the ground, or have your hands covering your eyes that we cannot see you. You also like to face the curtains in the living room (essentially turning your back to us), which has the same invisibility effect in your mind.

I have had to start keeping your suckies in a bowl out of your reach because you have a tendency to grab them throughout the day and either 1.) hide them in what must be a really damn good spot because I still can't find some of them even after turning the house upside down. 2.) have thrown them away because throwing everything in the garbage (from Tupperware lids, to toys) is your newly acquired hobby. Or, 3.) you switch out what suckie you have in your mouth so often than whenever I look at you it's never the same one. I used to keep them all on our end table and all you'd see is your little hand reach up and grab as many as you could in one shot.

You've been absolutely owning the baby Fall fashion game. From your charcoal grey pea coat, your cream coloured toque with a pompom on it that's bigger than your actual head, your skinny-legged mustard yellow jeans, fox knee-highs, a shirt that says "cuddle monster" on it, floral-print shirts galore, your polka dotted turtleneck, a PONCHO (seriously, babies in ponchos should just be the new trend), your second-hand denim Levi's jacket, little fringed booties, pjs that say "little boo" on them and have ghosts all over the legs, and your cardigans, you're the cutest thing I've ever seen!

You will now hold out your fingers when we count "one, two..." and think that it's so funny. We're still working on you being able to hold up one or two fingers by yourself, but for now you sure get a kick out of me being the one to do it for you. You also laugh a ton when we say the Little Piggies story and use your hands. I find this to be another great distraction when I am changing your diaper because you will actually lay still and hold your hands up waiting for me to grab your fingers as we say, "this little piggy went to the market..." When we get to the "we we we we we we we allll the way home" part you crack right up.

You've always been excited whenever Daddy gets home from work, but now more than ever before are you over the moon when he walks through the door. You will hear the keypad and book it to the baby gate to watch him walk in. Then you guys have your play time while I go workout downstairs or get supper made. If Daddy is fixing something in the house, you can bet that you're right there next to him watching whatever it is he is doing. The one morning he was putting baby locks on the kitchen cupboards and you were literally leaning your elbow on his shoulder to get a nice up close and personal view. He likes to say that you will know more about being handy and self-sufficient than any boy you ever date. You're his pride and joy, little girl.

Since you're such a fan of Super Grover from Sesame Street, Nana turned you into Super Rowan the one morning before she left for work, tucking a pink polka dotted piece of material into your jammies as a makeshift cape. You somehow kept this thing on all morning as you walked around with Grover in your hand.

Your hair is growing so funny! The back now sits over top of your shirts or coat collar and is so fair and light. I can't wait until we can put tiny little ponytails in, but for now I am a big fan of your little old lady hair and alfalfa sprout!

There have been so many random people this past month who have commented on how much you've grown. First ,the lady who works at Urban Cravings saw you and told her co-worker that you've been coming in since you were a newborn (fact)! Then, we were cashing out at Fresh Co and the cashier commented on how big you have got (to be fair, we're in that store 1-2 times a week). This also happened in Food Basics, where one of the ladies working said she can't believe you're walking already because she was so used to seeing you as a tiny baby in your car seat.

Things you absolutely love

Walking on your own is something you LOVE doing. We can no longer go on walks without you wanting to get out of your stroller and join us on foot. It automatically makes the walk way longer, but you have a smile on your face the entire time because you must feel like such a big girl doing it all on your own!

I think it's safe to say that to you, raisins are everything. You know exactly where I keep them, and whenever I open the cupboard you get all excited. You know what the bag looks like, and in meltdown moments, raisins are the way to calm you down. Finally I have met someone who loves them just as much as I do!

This month we got rid of your fort because it really served no purpose since you would never allow me to enclose you it in. We packed it up and put it in the basement in hopes that maybe a future sibling will like it, or to just make a really awesome fort one day when you're a little older! Since we had more space without the gate, Daddy and I decided to get a carpet so that you could play on the ground yet still be comfortable. We found a really nice one at Home Sense that's fluffy, and you treat it like our family pet now, either petting it, or hugging it. It isn't unusual to walk in and see you caressing the rug, weirdo.

You also love walking up and down the driveway. It all started with you following me as I took out the garbage one day, and now it's our Thursday routine. If you're sleeping, I will wait for you to wake up before I take the trash and recycling to the curb because you legitimately love coming with me.

Other honourable mentions: sipping from my Starbucks cup once it's empty because you think you're a mini Momma, when we tickle the palm of your hand for you to fall asleep, still obsessed with the Elmo's Ducks Song, the Sesame app in general, your Cookie and Grover stuffies, having snacks, watching the commercial on TV for this Cookie Monster toy that talks when he "eats" cookies, saying hi to the scarecrow wreath that's hanging on our front door, pulling the scrunchies out of my hair, yelling like an absolute LUNATIC because you get SO excited when you see other children, BUBBA FOREVER, trying to eat all of Marielle's toys when you go to Grandma and Grandpa's house, when Nana puts you on her knee and does "horsey" with you, playing at the Early On Centre, being at Chapters (a girl after my own heart; you seriously love playing there and looking at all of the stuffed animals and books), eating the samples at Costco (bahaha), wearing your mittens, stealing the dish towel off of my stove and everyone else's whenever we're at someone's house, your crazy parents and grandparents, that Uncle Joey guy who calls you his Robot, and more!

Things you aren't so fond of...

As I've already mentioned, remaining in your stroller is out of the question anymore. You get so mad when you're strapped in and can't walk at your leisure. You still don't like it very much when we take something away from you, but we do so when you've managed to grab hold of the remote, or our phones, or cords of some kind. Also, FORGET saying "no" to you. It results in receiving the world's most gigantic pout, followed by utter sobbing! You still don't like the vacuum cleaner, or when Momma leaves the room without you. You also don't like keeping headbands on for very long unless you forget that they are there, but overall you're a very happy girl!

Eating Habits

Still the best little eater I know! Your bubbas are exactly the same as last month, as you have 24 ounces over a 24 hour period. You have your morning bubba when you wake up, another around lunch time, one around 3-4 in the afternoon, and lastly, your bed time bubba. You have your three square meals a day, and some healthy snacks in between (either vegetables, fruits, cheese, raisins, or yogurt). Lately you and I both have been on an avocado and egg sandwich kick for breakfast, but we've been exploring new options for our lunches and dinners.

This past month, you have tried:

• poached eggs (with and without toast)

• pumpkin puree pancakes

• homemade beef stew

• homemade vegetable soup

• swiss chard

• rapini

• tuna (plain and with mayo, loving both of course)

• pumpkin flavoured Cheerios (as a festive little treat)

• and finally, birthday cake!

With more than good reason, of course! You had your cake smash photos taken for your upcoming birthday and went to town eating the pink icing like any crazy child with a cake placed directly in front of them and no parent stopping them would do.

You're such an easy baby to feed, and I have so much fun doing it. Taking the extra time to make you a nutritious and visually appealing meal is important to me. I can only hope that as you continue to grow, you enjoy eating as healthy as you do now!

Sleeping Pattern

Still napping 1-2 times a day, still falling asleep super easy at night after your bath and bubba (unless of course Nana is over watching This Is Us on Tuesdays, in which case, you stay up the entire time she is over and crash the second she leaves), still very much so right smack in the middle of Daddy and I in our bed at night, and still waking up each morning happier than anything!

Playtime & Development

You are so ridiculously smart and funny, and this is abundantly clear in terms of your development. You do a heck of a lot more playing now, a lot more exploring and figuring things out on your own. Your memory is impressive enough, as you know where to find certain things, and are starting to understand a lot more commands. You can successfully bring a specific toy or object to someone when asked, or hand over your suckie when we ask for it. You know the names of almost all of your toys, and are even able to point them out in your books! Just recently I asked you to find Elmo on different pages of a book and you were able to do so with ease!

I had to laugh because while I was getting ready in the bathroom one morning, to keep you from destroying the toilet paper, I told you to go get your baby. You took off and returned moments later with your doll in hand and held it up to me. You never fail to impress me.

No longer trying to eat your books, you now enjoy having them read to you as you're better able to focus and point out certain things. We often count objects and emphasize colours so that one day you will catch on. You're obsessed with this tiny pumpkin book I bought you. When it gets to this page with cats on it, you wave frantically at them and look at me and smile, then back at the book and smile. You're so cute!

With walking and exploring, comes a lot more getting into things. Some times in order to keep you confined I sit you in the empty bath tub along with a bunch of toys so that I can get ready without worrying what you're doing. Whenever it's too quiet I know to be weary. Sure enough, just the other day I walked into the bathroom to find you, an empty box of Q-tips, and about a million of them all over the floor. You just looked at me and started handing them over one by one. If the fridge is open, you will get to it as fast as you can and take out whatever you can get your little hands on. Lately you've been taking the yogurt container out and walking away with it. Inevitably, after being dropped about a dozen times, it finally split open... all over the floor. I fully expected these messes and to be kept busy while raising a small human tornado, but some days you have far FAR more energy than me.

You are one bright and strong little girl, and you have always hit your milestones early or right on time. I'm looking forward to doing so many more things with you as you grow, like more hands on crafts, or using flash cards to teach you your letters and numbers. I can't wait to see what you do next all by your big girl self!

Dates & Holidays

We had a lot of fun this past month, but not before you were sick AGAIN! This time it was a nasty cold / flu that lasted nearly an entire week, then left you with roseola rash for a few days once your fever finally broke. We made a total of two trips to the walk-in clinic this time, because they checked you for infections, which you didn't have. So it was a very long week of Momma cuddles and mushy Rowan (which breaks my heart). BUT, eventually it all passed and you were rifling through the cupboards once again, making messes and smiling that goofy smile that I love so much.

Since your very first Thanksgiving was coming up, I decided that you and I should make some crafts!So, out came the paint, and we dipped your hands and feet in it to make some turkeys for your grandparents and baby book. I also dipped your tiny thumb in orange paint and made a "thumbkin patch", that's currently hanging on our fridge! I have waited my entire life to proudly display the artwork of my child up for all to see, and it's finally happening! Honestly, you were less than impressed after about the fourth time I had to press your paint-covered hand onto the paper, and kept escaping to Daddy to be saved. You will learn to love craft time with Momma (bahahaha).

Speaking of Thanksgiving, you thoroughly enjoyed demolishing the food at your very first one. We went to Uncle Frank's house for dinner, and it was a plethora of all of your favourite foods, right there on your high chair tray. At one point you were double-fisting mashed potatoes... Aside from the food, however, I think you also had fun that morning when Daddy, Nana and I took you to Warner's Ranch. Unfortunately it was rainy out, so you couldn't do very much there, nor did we stay for very long. BUT, you did get to ride on Sparkles the "unicorn" pony and see the big horsies!

Don't worry though, you got to go to the pumpkin patch two more times too! One morning we went with Lenix and Landon, and came home with three little pumpkins, which I later painted to look like Ernie, Elmo and Cookie Monster. You were so excited when you saw them all done, which now brings us to the pumpkins you say hello to every day on our front porch!

The other time we went was on a Friday night. Daddy, Nana and I brought you back to Warner's because the weather was much nicer, and you were able to walk around, play, and picked out a big pumpkin for us to carve on Halloween! It's awesome getting to relive the fun parts of childhood when you have your own little one to unknowingly take you back there.

You and I had a couple dates with Daddy this month. One Sunday morning we went to Font for coffee, and one day he came home early from work in the afternoon and took us to the Pen for Starbucks and some shopping, our favourite! He even wore you in the carrier the entire time so you didn't have to sit in a stroller, you little bugger. Daddy and I also celebrated our 2 year anniversary, and the best part was that you were here with us! Last year to celebrate our first, we had maternity photos taken, but getting to squeeze you in person certainly topped that.

We also took you to your very first antique store / market! Daddy and I always used to spend our weekends together going from antique store to antique store back when we were dating. I was super into that stuff (still am), and got Daddy involved in it, to the point where he actually really enjoyed going. Admittedly, once we were married and worked more, bought a home and then had you, we didn’t go nearly as much. However, that all changed this month when we went again. We took you to Prudomme’s, our favourite outdoor and indoor antique spot. The best part is that we hit the jackpot that day. We found this old wooden baby doll set, complete with a high chair, crib, bassinet and shelf. Instantly I pictured it all fixed up and repainted and knew that you HAD to have it! It helped that you walked up to this set all by yourself with a smile on your face. Needless to say, it’s currently in our basement because for a Christmas we’re going to make it look brand new (of course, without losing the antique charm, since after all that’s the beauty of finding these treasures!) I’m so happy that we now have you to bring with us when we do these things that we love!

As per tradition, Nana and I attended the annual Etsy Market, and you got to come along! It was right after you were sick though, so you weren't feeling 100%. We didn't buy a single thing, but we went and you looked mighty cute in your hunter green turban! As always, we turned that Saturday into our usual Superstore / Starbucks trip, but we love those.

While hanging out with Lenix, we stopped by the Early Years Centre at the mall, and you just about lost your mind with excitement. You couldn't even focus on one thing at a time because you just saw toys everywhere! We will definitely be going back because it is a great environment for you tiny tots.

Since Auntie Roxanne and Uncle Frank leave for Florida before your birthday rolls around, they gave you your gift a little early. You received your very first Cabbage Patch Kid, named Bonnie Brenda (according to the birth certificate)! You were more interested in the mini bubba that came with her, as you proceeded to walk around with in in your mouth.

I mentioned your cake smash photos up above, and I purposely arranged for them to be taken early because Chelsea is a super busy photographer. Lucky for you, she loves you and makes time to come over, lugging all of her stuff, even ordering special backdrops for you! No 1 year photoshoot would be complete without a cake smash, so I went out and got this tiny 5 inch cake with sparkly icing to match your dress! It was perfect. Nana took the day off so that she could be here just like she was when your newborn photos were taken. To get you to go all "Rowan" in the photos, we played the Sesame Street songs that you love, so it inevitably resulted in some priceless pictures. All I am going to say about the cake smash was that you didn't hesitate AT ALL to grab hold of the icing, and when you had enough, you got up and walked away (so funny). It was a great success and I can't wait to fill these walls some more with your beautiful face!

Lastly, from your Momma's perspective

This past month has been incredibly significant for me as your mother. They all are of course; but this one involved following through with a decision your Dad and I made that was always discussed as "the plan". Long before you were even born, your Dad and I knew that I probably wouldn't be returning to work. Given my situation of not driving, combined with my lack of a "worth it" paying job, it just didn't make sense to pay someone else to raise you while I spent my days at a job that made me so unhappy, in an environment that was more of a hassle to travel back and forth to than it is for most people. My life is just very different from the majority of individuals, and to be quite honest, other than a few people who I am close to, or our families who see it first hand, many people don't have to think about how much more difficult their life would be if they didn't drive. For me, it's nothing I think about either, because it's my normal way of life and has been now for a few years. At some point in time I had to decide whether to let it rule my life, or learn to roll with the punches. I chose the latter for my own sanity. I knew that eventually my not driving wouldn't only effect me, but my children too, and then you were born, and I went through a phase of feeling like a bad parent because I wasn't able to pack you up and take you places on my own. I see other mothers unlike myself all of the time; I watch their days unfold on social media. They travel with their baby to and from stores, appointments, coffee shops, the gym, and to playdates with friends. If they want to pamper themselves, they can without having to ask their own mother or husband when they're able to take them. There isn't that outside person they need to involve to run a simple errand. Their load of motherhood isn't any less important than the one I carry, but it certainly is more convenient in that sense. My freedom to be that kind of mother is in fact limited; and if I do find ways it's because someone else like Nana, or Daddy, or a friend helped me; but I can't really do it by myself. I hated thinking that one day when you were old enough to see that for yourself that you would resent me for it.

I worked with a really great woman though, who has three children, two of whom are girls. This woman doesn't drive either, never has. When I would talk to her about it, she would unknowingly ease my worries through her stories of raising her babies as someone who didn't drive. She referred to those early years with them as their "adventures", often walking or taking the bus places, even to places that wouldn't be other people's first choice for fun or amusement. She spoke of trips to the dollar store to buy crafts and little toys to keep her kids amused, and it did just that. Her daughters are now adults who I know, and they think the world of their momma. I think the world of their momma. I think of them and their adventures each time I pack you up to walk to the store, or we are walking around the mall for the millionth time. I think of them and tell myself that I am doing the very best I can with what I have, and I swear to myself that I will never purposely disappoint you. I am humbled and appreciative of our time together, doing things that others wouldn't take as anything more than face-value. A trip to Tim Hortons and Fresh Co for me is an outing with my little best friend, and a balancing act to see how many groceries can we pile in the stroller (and some on your lap) before something falls out on the way home. It's pointing things out to you; my growing and intelligent daughter, and having you point back because you learn through repetition and by copying me. It's practically running while pushing the stroller when you start getting antsy, and surrendering and just carrying you in my arms when you've had enough. It's embracing the thankfulness I have in simply being here with you, which is all that ever really mattered. I love our adventures, Rowan. I hope that as you grow up, you do too.

So, given all of the above, this past month I notified work that I would not be coming back, because the only job that really matters to me is being your mom, and getting to be there every step of the way as you continue blooming into your wonderful self. Your Dad works his butt off, and he is the biggest supporter of this. I am lucky to have a husband who doesn't look down on me being a stay-at-home-mom. He works extra hard so that I can be, and on top of that, he knows what it means to me. I know that for me there has never been a title more rewarding or fulfilling, no job that's ever felt more right in my heart and soul, and the payment that I get from it means more than any hourly wage or salary ever could.

I'm sure there are people out there who look at mothers like myself and think we're full of crap in the way we see the value in both the good and difficult moments, or who judge our overly-thought-out meals for our baby, or who think we must have a million hours of free-time to be so diligent with our baby posts or updates, but all I can say is who wouldn't give their dream job 110% and then some? It's like life has given me the ultimate promotion to mommy-hood, and you're damn right I'm going to wear it well. I am perfectly happy being defined as your mother before anything else.

I am incredibly fortunate to be able to stay home with you, and you don't know it, but seeing as how I can't leave the room without you flipping out, you're pretty darn lucky too that you don't have to leave me! I promise you many more adventures to come, sweet girl.

"If happiness is the goal - and it should be, then adventures should be a priority." - Richard Branson

11 wonderful months of you, and about a million more to go. How lucky am I? Happy 11 months, earth-side, Beanie Weenie! I love you so much.

Love, Momma