3 Months of Raising a Wildflower

Alright, that was officially the FASTEST month yet, and it probably feels that way because you are growing, changing and moving so much now! As we approach the part where I hesitantly am able to say, "I have a four month old...", (SLOW DOWN! THAT'S ALREADY A THIRD OF THE WAY TO YOU BEING A WHOLE YEAR OLD!), I have trouble wrapping my head around where the last four weeks have went. I feel as though I just wrote your last blog post, and even from then to now you're a whole different baby. You are constantly developing and becoming this insanely funny little person, while all the while those gigantic shining eyeballs stare back at me in awe and wonder, the same way they have since we first met. All I know is that this third month of you has been a charm. They all are, and I am positively certain that they all will be. This one, however, has been my favourite one to date, and maybe I will end up saying that each and every month, but that will only mean that our life together keeps getting better and better. OH, and somehow, just when I think you have maxed out on the cuteness factor (as in, "okay, there is no possible way this kid can get any more beautiful"), you prove me wrong and go ahead and get cuter. We're constantly asking, "where did she even come from?" Perhaps we will never truly understand how the heck we got so lucky to have you in our lives, but Rowie P, I will never ever take it for granted for even a second.

3 month stats for Lil' R.P.

Birth weight: 6 lbs, 11.5 oz, 19 inches long

3 months: I'm guessing between 12-14 lbs. I continually reference your bathtub hammock that states that it only supports up to 14 pounds, and the fact that it has yet to come crashing down when you're in it says enough...

Eye colour: the most beautiful mixture of green, blue and grey, but always always sparkling!

Diaper size: OFFICIALLY in size 2 diapies! The realization of this was actually horrible on my part because on more than one occasion you had peed through your outfit, but like an idiot I just blamed Huggies diapers being crap quality in comparison to Pampers. Well, no. It turns out that your mother dearest was squeezing your little bum into diapers that were too snug! Of course once I read the suggestive size on the size 2 diapers it all made sense. SO, now you're comfortably in the right size!

Clothing size: You're rocking 3-6 in pretty much everything now. The clothes look gigantic, but you fill them out with ease. I am super excited though because Spring is finally here, which means that soon the nice weather will be too, and you have a closet FULL of playsuits, rompers, dresses and more just waiting to be made even cuter by you! I can finally dress you without worrying about layers upon layers and putting onesies underneath for extra warmth. Also, you wore your very first 2 piece pj set this week. It's this pink and white striped Burt's Bees outfit that I bought when I was still pregnant, and it looks so darn adorable on you with that belly showing as you stretch and play.

Nicknames: I think the only one I have to add is Tinkerbell Stinkerbell! You are still the child of many nicknames. Forever and always my Peanie Beanie.

What Momma has observed

about you at 3 months young

More and more I am realizing how much of a people person you are. If you grow up to be an introvert I will be seriously shocked. You cannot be taken anywhere without making a scene, and I actually don't mean a yelling, crying, tantrum scene (thank the lord). Rather, I mean that you smile, talk, giggle, and demand the attention of the room. I have yet to take you anywhere where at least one person doesn't come up to me and say what a well behaved baby you are, or what a happy baby you are, or how fricken cute you are. This past month you and I started venturing out on walks, and we always go to the nearby Tim Hortons so that I can get a coffee. On days when it isn't too packed inside, we sit and stay for a while, and because you are the nosiest baby in all of the land, you often fuss until I take you out of your seat. The minute I do, you're all smiles, staring at people (because you're also creepy), and more often than not you attract various people to our table, where they stand talking to you, giving you high-fives, or calling you sweet things. Yes, and then my introvert self sits there thinking, "what have I done to attract this attention?" Oh, that's right, I produced Miss. Congeniality over here! The best part is that once you have gained someone's attention, you completely eat it up. I say you're putting on a show. I can't tell you how many times we've been out and you start laughing or smiling the second someone comes up to you. The one night we went out for dinner for my birthday, and by the time we left the restaurant, the waitresses were saying, "bye Rowan!" Another day I had an appointment at Dr. Sternadel's and you came along with Gramma and I. My appointment just so happened to be fit in on the same day all of the pregnant ladies are seen, so I for sure caused baby fever by bringing you there. You, of course, had to look at everyone and smile at them, even babbled at a couple ladies who in turn said that you made their whole day. You're such a ham (made even more precious by the bunny ear hat you wear all of the time). I keep telling Gramma that I imagine you to be that toddler who has to say hi to everyone, and then spews out random facts, like what "the number of the day" on Sesame Street was, or your favourite colour. Oh, my social butterfly baby. I could have never imagined you to be as much as you are, in general. You have already exceeded all of my wildest expectations and then some. You have, without a doubt, such a personality, and I for one dig it.

• You have taken your interest in Sesame Street and have made it into an undoubtable LOVE. I think that it is thee cutest thing in the world to see you so mesmerized by something. You smile at the TV, you talk to it, you even sit on the couch propped up on my pregnancy pillow to watch entire episodes. We usually do this in the morning after your feeding. While I wash your bottles and prepare your formula for the day, you sit quietly watching your friends on TV. Logically, your Gramma HAD to buy you your first Elmo, Cookie Monster and Abby Cadabby stuffies. Your face lights up when you see them, and  I keep finding red or blue fur around the house from when you decide to maul them (one day  we will cover the importance of being gentle).

It's pretty funny how even I know the words to so many of the songs on Sesame Street, from the number of the day song, the letter of the day, and my personal fave, "I can be who I want to be, don't need someone to rescue me", from the Rapunzel episode. No lie, the first time I heard it, I had actual tears in my eyes! Things mean so much more now that I am raising a daughter of my own, and it's so heartwarming to know that morals and positivity are still being taught, even subtly, in this often messed up world. When your Dad comes home from work, you and him usually watch an episode together, which is adorable. I used to think I'd be annoyed by cartoons on loop, but I have to admit that I love having a reason for them to be on. The best days now start with you, and, "sunny days, sweeping the clouds away..."

• You are SO ticklish! I can simply poke your belly and you're in stitches laughing. Sometimes it's as simple as walking up to you slowly. You play shy and try to cover or bury your head in whoever is holding you, while giggling. When I do tickle you, I go straight for your chubby little thighs because you DIE laughing! Your newest spot though is under the chin. I pretend to bite it and you think it's the funniest thing ever. When we change you at night and take your outfit off, even the grazing of your sides as your sleeves come off leaves you laughing hysterically. We're pretty much always making you laugh because it's the single greatest sound we have ever heard. Of course, in addition to your incessant babbling, best spelled out as, "aaaa-gooooo", "aaaa-geeeee", and, "aaaa-ooooo". For some reason these are your go to noises. Hilariously enough though, the one morning I was videotaping you and said, "say good morning, Rowan!" You shot back with a sound so freaking funny that actually sounded like it could be taken as "good morning". It was like, "gooooooeeee moooooo-nuuuuuu". Gold! So funny. I could not stop laughing. Best 7 second video in the entire universe.

• You are the morningest-morning person I have ever known. For real though, like your tiny face literally cannot fit your happiness when you wake up. Your smile takes over the whole thing and it still isn't enough room. If you had your Dad's eyes, they would disappear entirely. Lucky for you, they're the size of basketballs, so even when squinty there's still plenty showing. 

I myself have never been a morning person until you came along... Mainly because you have no choice once you have a baby, but also because your vibe in the morning is all too contagious. Like I dare the most miserable person on the planet to wake up in your presence. One look at that crazy cute face; beaming smile, bright shining eyes, usually uncontrollable drool, rosy cheeks, and soft little noises and laughter, even they would just become a helpless puddle of mush on the floor. There have been nights when I don't get to sleep until 1 a.m. and you have me up by 6, when I want nothing more but for you to just fall back asleep, but then I take one look at your unrelenting enthusiasm and burst out laughing. Guess I'm up for the day!

• Sometimes you just need your Momma (and for me, that is the best feeling in the whole world). It happens randomly, but usually at the end of the day when you're either too tired, or overwhelmed, or just plain mushy. You cry and cry until I hold you (and even then sometimes you continue to cry), but then I hold you close against me and put my head on yours, and I tell you that it's okay, and you eventually get less tense and give in to me. You yawn, you play with my hair or touch my face, and soon enough you're asleep in the comfort of your Momma's arms. It reminds me that you will always need me, and I am so grateful for that.

• The most frequent comment we hear from people in regards to you (aside from the fact that you're ridiculously cute) is, "she is so focused!" You were a mere hour or so old when one of the nurses in the hospital said that exact same thing. People often think you're older because you're so attentive. It probably helps though having big ol' eyes and a stare that won't quit!

• You've recently discovered your tongue, and it now makes more and more appearances in photos, or when you're just hanging out. You look like a complete trouble-maker when you stick it out, but I'm sure that was only a matter of time all in itself.

• You now scratch and pinch, whether you realize it or not. I'm usually your victim while I sit feeding you. You dig those little talons into my arm and then clamp down, all while looking lovingly into my eyes. As far as the scratching goes, you're pretty good at getting yourself in your sleep. It's perfectly normal for you to wake up with a new scratch across your cheek or forehead. I try to cut those nails, but you move too much and I still scare myself doing it.

Things you absolutely love...

• As we've already established, you're a big fan of Sesame Street and people! Now put those two things together (Momma dancing and singing to Sesame Street songs while you sit on the couch or in your Bumbo staring at me like I am clinically insane), and you are in your glory. I find myself dancing in public to entertain you too. I think all embarrassment or the worries about what others will think goes right out the window once you're a mom. There is no such thing as shame once a whole room of people have seen a baby come out of you.

• You have grown fond (or maybe just tolerant of) your carrier. It's actually the best of both worlds since it frees up my hands, and you hate staying in your car seat when we're out and about. You're so nosey, so you love being attached to me as I walk around. I've also found that this is now the most convenient way for me to get cleaning done... by mopping the floors with an extra 12 pound weight minimum attached to my chest. I'm getting momma muscles!

• We are a pro-Bumbo household! I personally love the thing and I'm not even the one sitting in it, but you like it a lot too. I plop you on the counter while I wash dishes or bake, you sit with me on the table when I blog, you join Daddy and I at the dinner table for supper, and more recently, you've began chewing on the sides of it because apparently you're a teething contortionist.

• Your bouncy farm is your jam. Uncle Joey bought this thing for you at Christmas time, and although it's recommended for ages 4 months and up, we opened that sucker at 3 months because you can actually lift your head and keep it supported with that neck of yours that is no longer made of a noodle. Though you can't yet maneuver all of the gadgets on this bouncy farm, you do enjoy biting the seat cover, scratching the seat cover because it's covered in animal faces, and then there's this one contraption best described as a "chicken rolodex", that you relentlessly spin. I told Uncle Joey he could have simply bought you that and you would have been perfectly content. Whenever you're in this thing I say that you're at work because you look so busy bopping around and talking to yourself.

• Going for walks. You hate them when we're getting ready to go and you're put into your car seat (I can't tell you how many times I've had to dance around and sing to distract you while I quickly buckle you in and run out the door), but once we're outside you calm down and usually fall asleep. Unless of course, you decide to yell all the way home from the plaza, and fall asleep as soon as I get you inside of the house.

• It's probably going to be a hard habit to break, especially when I actually try getting you to sleep in your crib, but I've been laying you down for naps in the middle of my pregnancy pillow that I fold up into a little nest. You LOVE it and can sleep for hours all comfy on the couch. I cover you up with a tiny blanket and you're a goner. I can't blame you either. I often look over at you in envy because you look so damn comfortable.

• You're still big on Momma and Daddy! When Daddy comes home from work your whole face lights up and you can't wait for him to pick you up. You've also noticed his beard, and lately when he holds you, you pet it like it's an animal (debatable). Watching the bond you two are already sharing warms my whole heart. I used to think that I helped bring out a side of him that others were not familiar with, but now I realize that he was always meant to be a father, and more importantly, your father. I don't think he even realized how much he needed to have a daughter of his own, but it isn't something he denies now. Because of you, whenever we talk about having more babies, he says how more daughters would be nice. That's coming from Mr. Tough Guy who used to want boys! You changed him, for the better for sure. Your Dad has always been a wonderful person with a gigantic heart of gold, but I think you amplify it even more. Just the other night, I was bathing you and it was time for you to come out and dry off. Your Dad was busy in the basement so I was just going to get you out myself, but low and behold, he ran up to help. I told him that I wasn't going to bother him, and he replied saying how he loves this part. He followed it by saying, "I liked it more when she was smaller and needed me to keep her warm, but she doesn't as much anymore." Oh, my overflowing Momma heart! I assured him that you still need him to keep you warm, and that his arms will forever be ones that you feel safe in. He loves you a whole lot, kiddo. As you continue to grow, so will his Papa Bear mentality, always wanting to fiercely protect you and keep you warm.

Things you aren't so fond of...

• Our new battle: TEETHING, in all of it's painstaking, rosy-cheeks causing, temper-flaring glory. Teething sucks, and you have only just begun to experience the pain. It's a little early, but you have to figure that the pain begins long before the actual teeth sprout through those sad little gums. You have a tendency to chew on everything... and everyone. You drool so much that you're in a bib 24/7, your cheeks are often rosy red, and you have this ear-piercing cry that you do when you're clearly in pain. I've been giving you Baby Advil (grape flavor, which you love), Gramma bought you an Oreo cookie teething toy, you chomp on your own fingers to sooth the pain, and we try to comfort you the best we know how. All of this misery just so in a few years from now you lose these teeth anyways... It ain't all sunshine and rainbows being a baby!

• Currently, you aren't fond on your bassinet. In fact, you have stopped sleeping in it for more than a couple hours (and that's on a good night). I'm not proud of our current sleeping arrangement, as I am sure others out there would be quick to tell me how much harder I am making it for myself in the long run (yes, I am aware), but you've been sleeping in my arms or on my chest, on the couch. I have been on the couch since November, and though I miss my bed dearly, we haven't done the sleep training thing, nor do I think I am cut out for it. I feel as though in time you will get used to your crib, starting out with naps here and there, and then inevitably you will sleep all on your own. Maybe I am too easy going right now, but I operate under the mentality of "sleep is sleep". As long as you're sleeping through the nights, then I really don't care where it's happening. You sleep, I sleep, your Dad has always slept (...), all is well in this household.

Eating habits

I always say that you've yet to meet a bubba you didn't like, and it remains to be true! I've recently started making a minimum of 26 ounces per day, which are then divided up into 6 bubs, and that pretty well lasts you from morning, to the next morning. You get hungry every 2-3 hours, and though sometimes you can easily hammer down a 6-7 ouncer (like after a full night's sleep), other times you fall asleep after a quick little 1-2 ounce top-up and you're as good as gold. We don't stray from the Gentlease because you have absolutely no yucky side effects from it in regards to your digestive system. You have been taking an interest in Momma and Daddy's food lately, which is great seeing as how by month four you're able to start baby rice cereals and pureed fruits and veggies! I'm a little overwhelmed by this notion, since it's been so easy up until this point to keep you full and content. However, I know that this will also allow me to get creative and feel good about making you homemade and healthy baby food. More than that, I already can't wait to see your face as you try things for the very first time!

Sleeping pattern

So while I have already admitted to my lack of effort in coaxing you to sleep in your crib, I refuse to disregard the fact that you STILL sleep all fricken night long. Our bedtime routine continues to be successful, and it has not changed at all. Once you're bathed and fed, we relax on the couch where you fall asleep on me. The only difference now is that you stay on me... Until at least 6 am the following morning. Somehow I have become your new bassinet. Some mornings we wake up around 9 a.m., and to much of my amazement, I am not paralyzed and still have feeling in my arm.

Obviously this isn't practical long-term, so I will make more of an effort to reinstate our living room as an actual living room once again. My bed misses me, and I it. Plus, you have this awesome aquarium toy for your crib that your grandparents bought you that plays music and will help you fall asleep. We will get you settled into a more independent routine, but for now I sure am enjoying all of the cuddles and being able to easily kiss your sweet little face a billion times! As far as napping goes, well you're napping right now. I find that an afternoon nap is incredibly necessary, even when you fight me on it. You run off of so much energy that you need a recharge, and often times it's exactly why I take you outside for a walk. The fresh air knocks you right out, and you magically wake up even happier than you were that morning. I recognize your one particular cry that tells me it is sooooo time for a nappy. You will continue to cry, but by giving you a few back rubs, and holding you super close, you always fall asleep. As I mentioned before, I just plop you down in your little nest on the couch and you're good for a couple solid hours.

Playtime & Development

Beat Belle and your activity mat are so last month (they're also tucked away in the closet because we are on to bigger things!) You're now fixated on your bouncy farm, your Sesame Street friends, and these soft blocks that friends of ours got for you as a gift. You love holding them (because you're definitely improving your motor skills and being able to grasp and hold), and of course, trying to eat them. With help from your Bumbo, I've been trying to get you to sit up more. That is also why I sit you up on the couch to watch cartoons sometimes. Just this past week, I sat you up on the floor and you were able to hold it all on your own for a good ten or so seconds before tipping over. I was so excited for you! I can't imagine when you take your first steps! When you want to sprawl out and play, however, I lay blankets on the ground and you have your tummy time with all of your toys around you. Speaking of which, you have made HUGE improvement in regards to your tummy time!

Even a month ago you were so wobbly, and were quick to cry if I left you in that position for too long, but now you're able to hold your head up with ease and stay that way as you look around and play! I am just so proud of the way you're progressing with ease, and with little to no help of mine or anyone else. It's amazing watching a baby learn. Just staring at you as you play, it's like I can see the little wheels turning in your head, and how accomplished you appear to be when you do the smallest thing, like grab hold of a toy. I keep saying that any day now you will learn how to put your soother back in when it falls out. You try and try, and you get SO close! Sometimes you go to put it in backwards, or it fumbles from your drool-covered little hand, but I swear to god, any day now it will happen, and when it does, this Momma will jump for joy (and probably scare you to death). Thanks to your Gramma, you also love to hold these plastic measuring spoons we both have. When you're with me in the kitchen, sitting all proud in your Bumbo, I usually hand them to you and you put them in your mouth or continually drop them in the sink, which leads me to ask you, "oh no, did Momma forget to wash this?!" You have no idea what I am saying, but you laugh regardless. Just like the one Friday night when I was putting groceries away and broke a couple of eggs in the carton. I kept saying, "Momma broke the eggs!" You were dying laughing because of my tone, so obviously I kept saying it. Aside from myself, you're quite amused by this one Fisher-Price app called "Monkey" that I have on my phone, and since it works so well (you will stop crying / end your meltdown right away), Daddy and Gramma also have it on their phones too now. It is a blessing for when we're in the car and you freak out. I'm still not quite sure why all Fisher-Price apps use British accents (didn't see that one coming), but I now can't stop saying, "hi thhhhh-AIR!" You're very attentive, and though I am not suggesting that proper parenting means putting a screen of any kind in front of your child's face for hours on end, I do see the value of educational apps and shows like Sesame Street, all in moderation. These are the ones that I am choosing to expose you to, and I do very much so believe in the positive influence that they will have. I don't think I have ever understood math more in my entire life than I do now thanks to Count von Count and I am 28 years old. I have thoroughly enjoyed watching you grow this past month, and it has made me realize how soon I will be bringing your highchair upstairs, or sitting you up in your bathtub. Don't even get me started on when we're baby-proofing the heck out of this place, because that will mean that you're mobile, and that's when I will always have to have my running shoes on, ready to chase you. Bring it on though!

Dates & Holidays

• I happily got to spend my 28th birthday with you, and it was for sure the best one yet! Since it was a random Thursday and you and I were home, we went for a nice little walk to Tim Hortons and to get groceries, then went to Gramma's later that night. On the weekend, we went to a newer restaurant in town and you stole the show. Every other person in that place kept coming up to the table to see you. It's always a feel good moment when I get to say that I'm your mom, which is why this year I had the most special birthday yet.

• We had our very first little family breakfast outing one Sunday morning. We took you to Benedict's here in Welland, and you had on your bunny ear hat, which made the waitresses lose their minds and ask if they could keep you (no way!!!!!)

You sat quietly in your seat on the chair next to me the entire time and just kept smiling. You're such a sweet soul, Row, and everyone around you appreciates you so much more because of it. Even at Bootcamp, when you're not laying on your mat playing quietly, you're in Leeann's arms as she walks around with you, and you're still not making a peep! My friend Lorrie has started bringing her daughter, Daniella, on Tuesday nights because she loves spending time with you and getting to hold you while we all workout. She's your Bootcamp babysitter!

Lastly, from your Momma's perspective

Hi, my Sweet Girl. Tomorrow you will be 4 months old, and as I sit here reflecting back on this last month, I understand that these upcoming ones will not be slowing down anytime soon. As the weeks pass and I store away more and more of your clothing, or switch out toys for ones that sat in their boxes downstairs "until she is old enough", I am both overwhelmed by my love for you (it feels like I have known and loved you forever, so in that sense 4 months really isn't long at all), and amazed by how naturally everything has come together. I know of so many pregnant women who are expecting any day now, or ones who have recently given birth, and to hear their concerns or their fears seems so bizarre because I was them just a short while ago. Yet here I am today as a pretty confident mother; the pretty confident mother of you. Just a while ago that was you and I, newbies starting out without a clue, figuring out how this crazy dynamic works, neither of us sleeping enough, emotions running high, tears streaming down both of our faces...

Allow me to flash forward though. It was a Wednesday morning. You and I got out of the house at a decent pace, you sat in your car seat without putting up much of a fight, we were bundled up and we walked to Tim Hortons. I had some papers to edit for a friend, so when I got my coffee and found a table where we fit, we sat down together. I took you out of your seat and you sat on my lap instead. I pulled out my papers and a pen and got reading. You sat there quietly staring at your surroundings. When you got a little bored, I whipped out my phone and put your weird British Monkey app on. This seemed to do the trick as always. Somehow I read through 7 or so full pages and edited every single one of them. Of course, I was interrupted every so often by kind strangers who would ask how old you were, or tell you that you were a sweetie, but the one that got me the most was this older gentleman who asked, "so what is your secret?" I smiled and asked what he was referring to, which is when he said, "your baby; she is so happy and well behaved. I just assumed there was a secret!" I told him the same thing I tell everyone who says something similar to me: "I just got lucky".

Though obviously I did get lucky having such a wonderful baby, I realized after how there is actually so much more to it. The mere fact that we were able to up and leave the house with ease, knowing you had been fed, changed, and would more than likely be in good spirits as a result of those things. The fact that I was able to make myself presentable enough and change out of pyjamas to go out, all the while confident enough in knowing that I would be able to edit those papers while watching, entertaining, and caring for my three month old in a hectic setting says it all. Leaps and bounds, my darling daughter. That is how far we have come since those difficult beginning days when I was afraid to be left alone with you without my own momma around. You would never know that by looking at us now though. It's only been a few months and I already feel as though I have been doing this for years. Loving you just comes that easy; that tedious other stuff like making bottles and changing diapers inevitably follows.

Just the other night I looked at your Dad and said, "can you even remember coming home to our life when she wasn't here?" We can't, but more than that, we wouldn't want to. It's always nice to reminisce about the days when your Daddy and I dated or were just starting our life together, but the present with you is what we would dream of back then. I don't think either of us would know what to do anymore if we didn't have you to shape us into these two parents who we love being. Not to mention, we would certainly laugh a lot less around here. This age you're at now is funny. YOU are funny as hell and don't even know it! Sometimes you will just look at us and make a face and we die laughing. I can only imagine the things you will do and say when you're a firecracker of a toddler... Lord help us all. But I truly do look forward to what life will look like when instead of three months, you're three years old. I imagine you and I having our coffee dates then, or going shopping. Instead of hanging from my chest in your carrier, you will be walking beside me, holding my hand. Maybe we will have on matching nail polish because you copy the things I do (and I for one have never been so flattered in my life), and maybe a kind stranger will approach us then just to ask me what my secret is to having this great little girl beside me. "I just got lucky!" That's what I will say, but as we walk away, I'll no doubt look at you and think, "but there is so much more to it".

I've been really hung-up on this one particular quote lately. I love it so much because it most accurately fits the way I feel about my life thanks to you, your Dad, my own Mom, and that Uncle Joey guy (just to name a few).

"The secret to having it all, is knowing you already do."

May you always grow up feeling this very same way, my beautiful little wild flower.

Happy 3 months earth-side, Peanie Bean!

 I love you fiercely.

                                                   Love, Momma